Sunday, November 27, 2011

A letter to my Baby

Dearest Baby,
     This is for you. You do not know me or your Dad yet. But one day through God's Grace you will. I wanted to write to you. So you know the journey we are taking to get to you. I will one day be your mother. I will one day hold you. I will one day love you. I will one day teach you. I will one day play with you. I will one... You see, unlike most moms and dads our journey is taking a little longer. I have what is called PCOS. I have known since high school. March of 2007 I told your Dad that it will be very difficult for me to have children. We decided right then and there, that we would try for you. September 10th 2010 I went to the doctor for doctors help to try for you. I began my real journey that day. It has not been easy. I have failed many things many times. The medication upsets my stomach, and I struggle with losing weight and changing my eating habits. Our life has changed 360 degrees in the last 5 years. We are much healthier people and much more responsible. I found a stronger path with God as well. It is through my ever growing relationship, that I know I will one day have you to hold and to love. I just have to wait for Gods perfect timing. As I wait I will write to you. A way to keep motivation and focus. After all that is what matters. not how sick the meds make me. Not measuring my successes or failures. Nothing but you my dearest baby. I have received some good news a couple of days ago!! The new meds from last month worked for having a normal cycle! I think we are getting closer! I know it is Gods miracle! You will be Gods miracle! You will be loved my dearest baby! We have an AWESOME family!!!! Your Dad is very worried you will never be here. He says he hurts about it sometimes. I cannot wait until you can meet your Dad. He will love you more than anything. I know his secrets his secret desires to be a Dad. You will love him too. You will have fun with him. And when no ones looking he LOVES to cuddle. He will do anything for those he loves. He is one of the most faithful people you will ever know. He loves his family. You will have AMAZING grandparents. They are all cheering for you to get here, and meet you. They already have a special place in their hearts for you. Even though you are not here. We will remember this journey and cherish this journey. No matter how hard it may be. It is for the better. This path is meant to be.
Your Dearest Mommy

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