Tuesday, August 28, 2012

15/16 weeks

Time is starting fly by. Where did August go my goodness! My belly bump is really starting to be prominent! I love this! I still have insecurities, because a lot of it is my chub still. But It is what it is. Baby bumps make your chub stick out making baby bump look bigger than it is... I am just trying to rock it!

I was at a wedding this weekend. I loved my dress. Here is a close up of the bump!

In the beggining of week 15 I felt the baby move 2 times!!!! Well I think I did anyways... it was like a finger tip tapping my inside very low down. I only noticed it those 2 times because I was by chance laying very still and  very relaxed... I have not felt it since :( It was soo amazing I can't wait to feel it over and over and over again. It made my heart fill with pure joy. Like nothing else in this world matters just that tiny bump  bump.

My pregnancy has been going AMAZING. I really only have minor complaints. Mostly I feel totally normal I just pee alot. I can't wait to find out if I am having a boy or a girl. I found out my sister is having a girl!!!! So excited to have my first niece! At first I thought my baby was girl undoubtedly and dreamt of a little girl and wanted a little girl. I now think its a boy, and now I kind of want a boy instead. My husband wants a boy BADLY! Obviously I swing both ways. Whatever that little sweet baby is I will sway in that direction. Which is a big relief. I really thought I wanted a girl and that I might be disappointed if its a boy. And now oddly enough I want a boy instead... but would still be ecsatic if its a girl. What ever dearest baby is... this dearest mommy can't wait to find out!!

I hate wishing my pregnancy away. I love being pregnant, but I am more excited about having the baby. I just don't think I am one of those women who are into pregnancy. In fact knowing I will have to be pregnant for 9 months might sway me in waiting for baby #2 longer than I would wait otherwise. I never thought I would be this way. I thought I would be in love with being pregnant. And it might change as the baby starts moving around and stuff and I get bigger. But I can't help but feel that I can't wait til sweeet baby gets in my arms! Now don't get me wrong I am not complaining about pregnancy or saying I don't enjoy it. I am just simply more excited to have a baby and be a mother. I thought I would be more into pregnancy and I am not feeling that way. I am more into being a mother... and can't wait!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Dearest Baby

Dearest Baby,
It has been 14 weeks since you were made :) its funny I wrote your auntie Tara an email on that Monday. I told her I had ovulated on Sunday, and that I was pregnant and you were going to be born on Valentines day. Less than 4 weeks later I took a pregnancy test,1 week after we moved into our 1st house, and it was positive!!!! I went through shear joy. I would dance in my head and praise God. I went through scared times, that you would not stay with me. I went through 3 weeks of feeling like crap and having serious issues with food. The day you were measured you were small, and changed my due date later to VALENTINES DAY! LOL!!! I just knew it! :) Everysingle night I praise God. I cry in pure joy. I talk to you. I tell you to feel the warmth and love you are wrapped in. Its God's love and my love. If you can remember being wrapped in this love, it will guide you through life. I am putting together all my plans and ideas. I feel so completely blessed. I love you already. I almost know you already. I wonder what you will be like. But the love that is developing feels so familiar as if it is the love I have been waiting for my entire life. What I was made for. Gods intention all along. I can't wait to meet you. I don't mind being pregnant, but I wouldn't mind skipping the whole thing, and meeting you! I will try to be more patient for you!

your dearest Mommy

Friday, August 10, 2012

13 weeks

In my mind I am really showing! I know I know I still look like I need to lay off the doughnuts, but to me its just so dramatic. This was taken the other night after work. I couldn't stop staring at myself! Still feeling great, and I am doing good with the weight gain. I hope I can keep it up. I notice my appetite is picking up... and I want to snack on junk like all the time... which is nooo good.. So I am a bit worried. I also notice that my stomach is ITCHING like crazy! I hope that means I will be rounding out soon! I want to be noticeably pregnant by my girlfriends wedding on the 25th of August. I will be 15 1/2 weeks!

my chubby middle section I think confuses my tiny bump. Sometimes making it appear larger than it is, and sometimes makes a round belly more difficult to see...

but I am just trying not to dwell on that. I am just trying to be happy with the baby bump, and show it off as much as possible.

My work is being HORRIBLE about my pregnancy I have officially made a vow not to talk about it to them anymore at all. I almost feel harassed. The worst part is they are my superiors....

Such is life as a mother in the professional world. Next time I will play my cards differently when it comes to the work place!